Little Red

There once was a sweet little girl
The best, they say, in the whole, wide world,
She wore a red cloak with a soft velvet hood,
Who went off on errands into the wood.
Off to grandmother’s, skipping she went
And whom, in the wood, do you think that she met?
Well, the big, bad wolf was lurking about
And sure, we all know he had that long snout,
Great big eyes to see and large ears to hear,
Do you think little red had anything to fear?
Of course she did, because on that very day
Her and grandmother were his delicious prey
Gobbling them down with no thought for their yelling
Amazed and delighted at the way he was swelling
The fullness he felt had altered his head
Instead of fleeing, he ran off to bed
About that time a woodsman went by
And he heard in the distance the two ladies cry
He ran in the house to check out the case,
Only to find a huge wolf in their place.
He notices first, the ladies not there
And instead, a wolf, with a wig for hair
He notices the wolf’s stomach, largely distended
And realizes sadly their lives may have ended
To rescue little red and her sweet old gramma
This deed would take muscle and all of his stamina
With his knife in hand and all of his strength
He cut the wolf, completely in length
Out jumped the gramma and then little red
And what do you think that little red said?
“Thank you kind sir for all that you’ve done
You fought with that wolf and finally won,
You rescued us from that big bad guy
I thought we were gonner’s ‘til you happened by.”
Then smiling to him, she coyly said,
“If it weren’t for you we’d both be dead,
You’ve saved us from that wolf, what a goon
Now let’s find a boat and head for Cancun.
Life is to short, I don’t wanna be good
Let’s get out of here quick, I’m sick of the hood.”